{"id":2894,"date":"2011-11-08T22:38:56","date_gmt":"2011-11-09T03:38:56","guid":{"rendered":"\/news_blogs\/john\/?p=2894"},"modified":"2023-12-21T13:26:27","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T18:26:27","slug":"its-not-lonely-at-the-top","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/john\/2011\/11\/08\/its-not-lonely-at-the-top\/","title":{"rendered":"It&#8217;s (Not) Lonely at the Top!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s <strong>lonely at the top<\/strong>&#8221; is true only if you want it to be.&nbsp;It doesn&#8217;t have to be that way, but when there is no one a leader feels comfortable discussing&nbsp;the really challenging issues with, it truly is&nbsp;lonely.&nbsp;In that case, it seems inevitable that some day either a challenge or the person&#8217;s own blindness to a situation&nbsp;will trip&nbsp;the leader&nbsp;up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When ministry leaders come and go in just a few years, I wonder how connected they were with other people.&nbsp;Could they have had greater longevity and <strong>success<\/strong> by being vulnerable and discussing these issues&nbsp;with someone else?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are finding leadership a lonely experience,&nbsp;here are some people who can keep you company.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"It&#039;s not lonely at the top!\" width=\"625\" height=\"352\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/9PbhJHo-MXY?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Staff<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>You should be able to discuss almost any issue with your senior staff because they are <em>your<\/em> team and they are the ones who will execute whatever plans you approve.&nbsp;They are every bit as familiar with the ministry as you are and they share your vital interest in its success.&nbsp;Why not bring them into your confidence?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just because&nbsp;the senior leader has the executive authority and&nbsp;bears all the responsibility&nbsp;for results (to the board), that doesn&#8217;t mean the person must be a lonely, solo leader.&nbsp;Two of my senior staff report directly to me and I trust both of them completely and value their judgment. Beyond them, there is a leadership team (and also staff who join us based on the topic of discussion). Why should I rely only on my own knowledge and experience when I have so much more available to me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are a couple of reasons why some leaders hold back from their staff:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>They&nbsp;may have a personnel issue or something that they don&#8217;t want to discuss with any staff.&nbsp;Okay, but as you&#8217;ll see below, there are still other people you can discuss things with.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You many think that not having the answers will make you\u00a0appear weak.\u00a0You may be afraid of losing the staff&#8217;s confidence if you ask for their help. If so, I think you&#8217;ve bought into the &#8216;heroic leader&#8217; myth.\u00a0Business books and biographies almost always tell a story by focusing on one individual, as if their success was 100% from their own efforts and ideas. I can recall only one book written about an heroic team, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/gp\/product\/0060522003\/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=wwwccccorg-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=15121&amp;creative=330641&amp;creativeASIN=0060522003\"><em>The Wisdom Of Teams<\/em><\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" border=\"0\" style=\"border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.ca\/e\/ir?t=wwwccccorg-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=15&amp;a=0060522003\" alt=\"\">.\u00a0That&#8217;s the exception.\u00a0All the other books focus on a single person because\u00a0we want\u00a0a hero, and heroes are supposed to be\u00a0able to overcome obstacles by themselves. But this is to put unrealistic expectations on yourself.\u00a0Roger Patterson, co-author of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/gp\/product\/078797739X\/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=wwwccccorg-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=15121&amp;creative=330641&amp;creativeASIN=078797739X\"><em>Leading from the Second Chair<\/em><\/a>,<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" border=\"0\" style=\"margin: 0px !important; border: currentColor !important;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.ca\/e\/ir?t=wwwccccorg-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=15&amp;a=078797739X\" alt=\"\">\u00a0sent me the text for his second book (not yet published) called <em>The Theology of the Second Chair<\/em>\u00a0and in it he makes an interesting point. Scripture shows that God appoints people to leadership, but these are all people with limitations well known to God. Think about Moses and his poor speech. God puts people around his leader\u00a0who\u00a0fill in for the leader&#8217;s shortcomings. The leader is strong in what God wants them to do,\u00a0and the team does the rest.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Finally,&nbsp;be wary of pride.&nbsp;For the sake of the ministry, accept the team&#8217;s wisdom. James presided over the Council of Jerusalem and&nbsp;allowed his team to&nbsp;thoroughly discuss the Gentile question (Acts 15) even though he alone made the final decision. Paul had his missionary&nbsp;team confirm the meaning of his Macedonian vision even though he knew what&nbsp;the dream meant. It was a way of testing his interpretation. So confide in your team.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Board<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you think you can&#8217;t talk to your staff, you can talk with your directors. I am blessed with a&nbsp;board that is&nbsp;supportive while at the same time holding me accountable.&nbsp;CCCC has a policy board, so my concerns are within my jurisdiction not theirs, but that doesn&#8217;t mean&nbsp;I can&#8217;t have a &#8216;fireside chat&#8217; with them. We both&nbsp;know that they will not tell me what to do and that I am solely responsible for any&nbsp;decision I make, but we have had hours of fruitful discussions that have benefitted me greatly. Just like my staff, they are dedicated to the success of the ministry, and because they hired me, they want me personally to be successful as CEO.&nbsp;Why should I not have the benefit of their wisdom and experience too?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, you might not want to talk with your board because you may feel your job is in jeopardy if you ask for input or show that you struggle with some things.&nbsp;You certainly need to be a top performer,&nbsp;but it shouldn&#8217;t be a problem to seek counsel or to ask for prayer support. Unfortunately we&nbsp;at CCCC hear about many&nbsp;conflicts between board and staff. You can reduce board-staff conflict if you&nbsp;accept the board&#8217;s authority and if the board does&nbsp;good board orientation and&nbsp;development so directors know where the line is between board and staff.&nbsp;The board should also recruit people&nbsp;who subscribe to the values, ethos, and strategic statements already in place and who are&nbsp;in basic accord with the senior staff person.&nbsp;They don&#8217;t have to always agree with the leader, but they shouldn&#8217;t come on to a board already wanting to change basic elements of strategy or staffing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Ministry Peers<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I have developed relationships with ministry leaders across the country by simply&nbsp;visiting them in their offices, seeing them at events such as EFC&#8217;s Presidents Day, and otherwise being open to any opportunity to say &#8220;Hi&#8221; to them. You may not have access to leaders across the country, but there is no reason why you shouldn&#8217;t know the ministry leaders in your area. Pick up the phone, call someone and ask to have lunch with them, or ask to come and see their ministry.&nbsp;You may have to juggle schedules, but sooner or later you can make a new friend who could be very helpful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I&nbsp;wanted&nbsp;advice on change management I called four leaders of ministries that had been through successful change, and all of them were willing to talk about their experiences and the lessons they learned. While visiting some leaders out West a few weeks ago, conversation drifted around to a leadership topic that I&#8217;ve been wrestling with for a while and these leaders just opened up and shared their own experiences with that issue.&nbsp;Leaders are willing to talk and help each other if you are willing to be vulnerable and share the issues that you are dealing with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes you need someone else to see something that you can&#8217;t. Moses had his Jethro who could see the quagmire that Moses had fallen into. Wouldn&#8217;t it have been better for Moses if he had found out earlier&nbsp;about the problem and fixed it sooner? He could have asked someone, maybe even Jethro, &#8220;Here&#8217;s my plan to lead the people of Israel.&nbsp; Do you see any potential problems with it?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The only thing that might hold you back from talking with your peers is pride. Everyone wants to look successful at what they do, but the most meaningful and helpful conversations come about when the masks come off and people are real with each other. It deepens your relationship from the relatively superficial &#8220;Hi, how are you?&#8221; stage to the much deeper level of feeling you really know the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Your Spouse<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I am richly blessed with a spouse who also has a business degree, is an accountant, and who has chaired some boards.&nbsp;She understands leadership, strategy and all the other issues I deal with. She is an invaluable support to me and offers great perspectives.&nbsp;But even without her background, she would still be a tremendous support because:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>as my spouse, she is&nbsp;100% committed to my success because both of us are bound together&nbsp; in marriage, so my welfare is her welfare and&nbsp;she wants the best for me. In this spirit, your spouse is not afraid to ask the tough questions, and will provide a clear-headed perspective.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>she&nbsp;doesn&#8217;t have to know business or&nbsp;governance to ask&nbsp;the right questions.&nbsp;&#8220;Have you prayed about this?&#8221; is one of those perennial favourites of hers!!! Your spouse doesn&#8217;t need to have the answers, just the right probing&nbsp;questions to stimulate your thinking.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>God<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;ve left God to last not because he is the least important but to end on the note that you must be talking with God because the ministry you lead is his, not yours. This reminds me of a video that we show in the Stewardship I course\u2014<a title=\"Video - God's Pie\" href=\"http:\/\/mattdabbs.wordpress.com\/2009\/12\/27\/video-parable-on-stewardship-gods-pie\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">God&#8217;s Pie<\/a>. A person divvies up a pie with pieces for people representing his house, his cars, etc., but gives God nothing.&nbsp;As he eats his own piece of pie while God watches, with an empty plate, the guy representing his German car says, &#8220;Dude!&nbsp; He brrrrought&nbsp;ze pie!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Well, &#8220;dude,&#8221; the ministry you lead is his, so consult with him about what you should do with it. The key to Christian leadership is to recognize that you are a follower before you are a leader. If you find yourself talking about leadership and then admitting as an afterthought that, &#8220;Well, of course, the Bible says that God is the ultimate leader of this ministry,&#8221; then God&#8217;s leadership looks pretty perfunctory. His leadership needs to be fresh and vital every day. If you only know the <em>idea<\/em> of God&#8217;s leadership rather than the <em>experience<\/em> of God&#8217;s leadership, I suggest you check out the spiritual disciplines and practices that are at the core of being led by God.&nbsp;Take a spiritual formation course at a seminary or Bible college or pick up a good book such as <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/gp\/product\/0933140460\/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=wwwccccorg-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=15121&amp;creative=330641&amp;creativeASIN=0933140460\"><em>Space for God: The Study and Practice of Spirituality and Prayer<\/em><\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" border=\"0\" style=\"border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.ca\/e\/ir?t=wwwccccorg-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=15&amp;a=0933140460\" alt=\"\">&nbsp;or <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/gp\/product\/080105916X\/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=wwwccccorg-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=15121&amp;creative=330641&amp;creativeASIN=080105916X\"><em>Listening Prayer: Learning to Hear God&#8217;s Voice and Keep a Prayer Journal<\/em><\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" border=\"0\" style=\"border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.ca\/e\/ir?t=wwwccccorg-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=15&amp;a=080105916X\" alt=\"\">. While you should go to God first, he is also the final resort after all human wisdom and advice has failed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignnone size-thumbnail\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Its-not-lonely-at-the-top.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Its-not-lonely-at-the-top.jpg?resize=150%2C150&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-34734\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Its-not-lonely-at-the-top.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Its-not-lonely-at-the-top.jpg?zoom=2&amp;resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/Its-not-lonely-at-the-top.jpg?zoom=3&amp;resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 450w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>Download personal reflection guide<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Conclusion<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I hope you see by now that there are a lot of people around who could support you in ministry. There is no reason to feel lonely and unable to talk to anyone. Take the initiative and go see someone right away. And if you have anything to contribute to this discussion, I&#8217;d love to hear from you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Leaders can enjoy greater longevity and more success by having people around them who can provide wise counsel. Here&#8217;s who could be in that group. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/john\/2011\/11\/08\/its-not-lonely-at-the-top\/\" class=\"linkbutton\">More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14065,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ts_fic_featured_image_caption":"Two hikers sitting on the summit of a rock face overlooking a bay far below. Used with permission.","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[624,623,89],"tags":[579,63,68,94],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2894","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-great-leadership-healthy","category-healthy","category-leadership-personal","tag-attractive-leadership","tag-social-skills","tag-strategic-planning","tag-working-together"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>It&#039;s (Not) Lonely at the Top! - CCCC Blogs<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/john\/2011\/11\/08\/its-not-lonely-at-the-top\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"It&#039;s (Not) Lonely at the Top! - CCCC Blogs\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Leaders can enjoy greater longevity and more success by having people around them who can provide wise counsel. Here&#039;s who could be in that group. More\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/john\/2011\/11\/08\/its-not-lonely-at-the-top\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"CCCC Blogs\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/CCCCCharities\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-11-09T03:38:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-12-21T18:26:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Not-lonely-at-the-top.jpg?fit=1734%2C1422&ssl=1\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1734\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1422\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"John Pellowe\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@cccccharities\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@cccccharities\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"John Pellowe\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cccc.org\\\/news_blogs\\\/john\\\/2011\\\/11\\\/08\\\/its-not-lonely-at-the-top\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cccc.org\\\/news_blogs\\\/john\\\/2011\\\/11\\\/08\\\/its-not-lonely-at-the-top\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"John Pellowe\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cccc.org\\\/news_blogs\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/78129b8fafee8dfe3bb7f3d7c8e33569\"},\"headline\":\"It&#8217;s (Not) Lonely at the Top!\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-11-09T03:38:56+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T18:26:27+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cccc.org\\\/news_blogs\\\/john\\\/2011\\\/11\\\/08\\\/its-not-lonely-at-the-top\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1842,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cccc.org\\\/news_blogs\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cccc.org\\\/news_blogs\\\/john\\\/2011\\\/11\\\/08\\\/its-not-lonely-at-the-top\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/www.cccc.org\\\/news_blogs\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2013\\\/06\\\/Not-lonely-at-the-top.jpg?fit=1734%2C1422&ssl=1\",\"keywords\":[\"Inspirational Leaders\",\"Social skills\",\"Strategic planning\",\"Working together\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Great Leadership\",\"Healthy\",\"Personal Leadership\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-CA\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cccc.org\\\/news_blogs\\\/john\\\/2011\\\/11\\\/08\\\/its-not-lonely-at-the-top\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cccc.org\\\/news_blogs\\\/john\\\/2011\\\/11\\\/08\\\/its-not-lonely-at-the-top\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cccc.org\\\/news_blogs\\\/john\\\/2011\\\/11\\\/08\\\/its-not-lonely-at-the-top\\\/\",\"name\":\"It's (Not) Lonely at the Top! 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Whom should leaders serve? What service do they provide? How does one serve and lead at the same time? Great questions that deserve discussion, so let's get started! Servant leadership is probably the most talked about leadership model of our generation. 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They simply recognize good ideas and know how to bring a group together to make something of them.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Christian&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Christian","link":"https:\/\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/category\/christian-ministry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/IMG_1936.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/IMG_1936.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/IMG_1936.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/IMG_1936.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/IMG_1936.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1123,"url":"https:\/\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/john\/2009\/11\/06\/an-unlikely-hero-personality-profiles-and-leaders\/","url_meta":{"origin":2894,"position":5},"title":"An Unlikely Hero: Personality Profiles and Leaders","author":"John Pellowe","date":"November 6, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"There is no particular set of personality traits for leadership success. Some have charisma, some do not. Some are extroverts, some are not. And on it goes. Peter Drucker\u2019s great insight is that performance, not personality, is the key to leadership. 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