{"id":2917,"date":"2010-05-03T20:09:07","date_gmt":"2010-05-04T00:09:07","guid":{"rendered":"\/news_blogs\/john\/?p=2917"},"modified":"2024-12-24T08:25:28","modified_gmt":"2024-12-24T13:25:28","slug":"require-and-relate-the-paradox-of-good-leadership","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cccc.org\/news_blogs\/john\/2010\/05\/03\/require-and-relate-the-paradox-of-good-leadership\/","title":{"rendered":"Require and Relate: The Paradox of Good Leadership"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A ministry leader told me that he bases his leadership style on R&R. No, he’s not taking it easy all the time. I’m sure he gets an appropriate amount of rest and relaxation, but he defines R&R as “Require and Relate.” Requiring happens when a leader sets out performance standards<\/strong> and evaluates to see if the standards are being met. Relating happens when a leader connects with staff members<\/strong> in a caring, supportive way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When a leader requires without relating, the leader is seen as autocratic, demanding, hard-nosed and a bunch of other not-so-nice attributes. When a leader relates without requiring, not much happens, but everyone has a really good time as the ship goes down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I suspect that some leaders feel the tension<\/strong> between requiring and relating and struggle with doing both. Some leaders may have difficulty with the relating part, believing that if things get mushy and touchy-feely the organization will fall to pieces. And other leaders may not have the intestinal fortitude and confidence to insist on performance, so they avoid confronting poor performance in a misguided attempt to be nice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two Tips<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This leader made two points about R&R that should help you lead with both strategies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. Don’t settle for an either\/or approach to the two Rs. The concept of requiring and relating, of demanding performance while at the same time showing care and compassion, is\u00a0thoroughly biblical. John 1:14 says that Jesus came “full of grace and truth.” Randy Alcorn, in\u00a0The Grace and Truth Paradox: Responding with Christlike Balance<\/em><\/a>,\u00a0shows how Jesus\u00a0demonstrated grace towards other people while at the same time not compromising the truth at all. He welcomed the woman caught in adultery, but also said, “Go and sin no more.” Grace is like relating, and truth is like requiring. Jesus showed how grace and truth work together seamlessly to produce\u00a0his desired result: they drive people to a decision point\u2014will they, or will they not, live for God? Requiring and relating can likewise\u00a0co-exist\u00a0in your leadership style to produce your desired results\u2014accomplishment of\u00a0your ministry’s mission. So don’t be squeamish about insisting on performance, and don’t be shy about building strong relationships with your staff.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Requiring performance by clearly setting out the expected activities and results is simply good stewardship. I thought this was a brilliant insight, connecting performance with stewardship. After all, if you had a program that did not perform well, you’d either cancel it or redesign it to perform better. You wouldn’t knowingly continue a program that was inefficient or ineffective, would you? Of course not. So why would you knowingly put up with inefficient or ineffective performance? Both programs and salaries are funded by donors who expect you to make good use of their hard-earned donations. And as a leader in ministry, you are accountable to God for good stewardship of everything entrusted to you.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Employee Responsibility<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    But employees are accountable for good stewardship too. Any paid worker in Christian ministry has two kinds of stewardship to think about with respect to their incomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n