So what would you say if government officials required you to teach your children that the Easter Bunny was real, and that Santa Claus was too? If you did not confirm these “truths,” the government would remove your children from your home? Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

As of 2018, Canada now has on its historical, legal record a case where a judge had to rebuke Hamilton’s Children’s Aid Society for removing two young girls from their foster home because the parents refused, based upon their religious beliefs, to say that the Easter Bunny and Santa were real.

Justice A. J. Goodman of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice must have thought it surreal as he read the facts before him. The young couple, Derek and Frances Baars, are Protestants of the Free Reformed community. They do not practice Christmas and Easter as most Canadians do. However, they said that they were willing to have an Easter egg hunt with their two foster girls; they just would not tell them that the Easter Bunny hid the chocolate. They also said they would give Christmas presents, but would not say that Santa came down the chimney with his reindeer on the roof. Their point: they do not, and would not, lie. It is a religious thing. Honesty and integrity form who they are, just as they attend church every Sunday and say prayers at every meal.

​​The social workers, however, argued​ ​that ​the Baars were ​neither supporting the position of the agency nor meeting the needs of the girls. ​In effect, ​they argued that believing in the Easter Bunny ​was a necessity for children.

Justice Goodman recognized that freedom of religion, as understood in Canada, allows individuals to embrace, openly declare, and manifest their beliefs. Citizens are free to live their lives in conformity with their beliefs. The state, on the other hand, is to be neutral on matters of religion. This fundamental right was violated when the social workers insisted that the Baars tell the girls a fictitious creature was real. Incredibly, one of the workers insisted that by making that requirement she was not asking the Baars “to lie or to betray their faith,” but rather was “concerned that the idea of the Easter Bunny would be destroyed for these young children” if the parents insisted that “the Easter Bunny was not real”.

Justice Goodman didn’t buy that characterization. He said he was “more than satisfied that the Society’s actions interfered substantially with the Baars’ religious beliefs.”  He was also mindful that it was not up to the social worker to try to convince the Baars that endorsing the Easter Bunny was not a violation of religious beliefs. To the Baars, it was. The judge noted that the Baars “were constantly promoting the children’s wellbeing, and ensured that they were safe, secure, and happy.” Tragically, when balancing the Easter Bunny against a stable, safe environment for these two children who already had suffered more turmoil than they deserved, “the Society,” said Goodman, “very clearly chose the Easter Bunny.”

Reading through the decision, I could not help but struggle with my emotions. I was tempted to laugh at the sheer stupidity of the case. But my mirth was overshadowed by the sombre realization that two precious young girls were forcibly taken from a couple who loved and cared for them. Taken because the state – in its great wisdom – could not understand the values of a Christian couple who placed truth and integrity above materialism.

The moral of this story is simple. Our government does not understand religion. It cannot comprehend it. It does not respect it. But what it does understand is power: power to do what it wants for whatever reason it desires. For that very reason we can be thankful that we have a system of justice with a Charter and independent judges who take seriously their role in protecting citizens from a wayward state.

While we can applaud this just and well-reasoned judgement, the fact remains that two little girls needlessly suffered the loss of a loving and secure foster home. We can only hope they are now with a family as tender and truthful as they once had. The Baars have also since moved on – to Alberta, apparently – but they still suffer the painful “what ifs”. All because the state demanded they lie about the Easter Bunny. This, in 2018. In the democratic and diverse nation of Canada!

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Dads and Their Kids

I’ve seen a fair bit of research over the years that shows how important fathers are to the development of their children. A contributing factor to many of our social problems turns out to be the lack of a father in a person’s life. I admire single parents who are able to raise their children on their own and I know they do their best. But there is no doubt that the best family experience is when a mother and father live as Christ-like parents caring for and nurturing their children together. Courageous shows how five fathers, in different scenarios, come to a place of decision about their role as fathers.

This is the fourth movie by Sherwood Pictures, a ministry of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia. Every one of their movies (even the first one that was done for less than $20,000) has been excellent. Flywheel dealt with coming to faith; Facing the Giants with maintaining faith through adversity; Fireproof with marriage; and now Courageous with fatherhood. You have to hand it to this church, they have done a wonderful job of developing a creative outreach ministry against all odds.

Leaders and Their Work

Leaders need to ensure that the way they lead at work does not cause their employees to be unable to fulfill their duties to their spouse and children. In some environments, particularly large global consulting firms for example, I have heard people talk about the employer’s demands that they put their career ahead of their families. People at any level of leadership may self-impose demands on themselves that effectively put their work ahead of family too. They need to set appropriate boundaries for how much claim their ministry will be allowed to have on family life. Several years ago one president told me he divided the week up into 21 blocks of time (morning, afternoon and evening) and would give his ministry up to 12 of them (or perhaps he said 14). He would not go beyond that for the sake of his health, marriage and family.

From 1994 to 2001 I was self-employed and working from home. I discovered that in that situation, not only was there no separation of home and office (I did have a dedicated office in the house, but it was in the house), but there was also no sense of ever leaving work. Who’s to say when the job is done? It was never done. There was always more that could be done. And then there is the feeling of achievement from work that can become addictive. I ended up not being as ‘present’ as I wanted to be with my family. Boundaries are the foundation for a well-balanced life. They should be augmented by a clear set of priorities that will help you and your family make decisions in those seasons when work and home schedules collide.

The movie Courageous shows the dads signing a covenant that outlines the principles of fatherhood that these men will follow. I have to admit, my very first thought was that this was a cheap marketing ploy. They probably already have these in stock ready to sell by the thousands. (However, as of today, they don’t appear to have done this.) My second thought was that I wouldn’t sign the covenant because it would be a mass event sort of thing and who wouldn’t sign it? It wouldn’t be meaningful because it would be an event rather than my personal commitment. I thought it would be better as a personal commitment. “Just do it. Just be the father I aspire to be.”

I believe the best outcome of the movie will be that dads sit down with their families and talk honestly about their relationships with spouses and kids. It’s never too late to make a course correction. You can’t change the past, but you can change the future.

My dad died a year ago this week, and I have such good memories because I committed years and years ago to being the best son that I could be. Your children and mine deserve a similar commitment from us, that you and I will be the best parents that we can be. Your ministry is important, but so is your family. You are replaceable at work, but not as a parent.

Any thoughts to share?

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